My New Year’s Resolutions

I’m the kind of person who will make tons of agendas, to-do lists, schedules but usually doesn’t end up following them. My desk is filled with checklists that I have written new things all over. It’s because I like to do what appeals to my mood most of the time, and I can never anticipate my mood. All things aside, I do have 10 resolutions that may determine what kind of year this is for me.

  1. Be confident in who I am
  2. Get a haircut to shorten the current hip length of my hair.
  3. Make some more friends that don’t make me feel bad about myself & who I am.
  4. Scrapbook the memories I have grown to love from the past.
  5. Tell my parents I love them more often.
  6. Don’t judge anyone because I’m not in their shoes going through what they have to.
  7. Maintain a healthy lifestyle (losing weight won’t hurt ūüėČ but in the long run I need this)
  8. Spend what you need, nothing more, nothing less. (Sorry shopaholic soul)
  9. Make sure people around me feel comfortable to be themselves with me.
  10. Just live, be happy because tomorrow won’t be a new day unless I want it to be.

What are your resolutions? Comment below and maybe we can talk about how to accomplish our goals step by step.

Looking at Fear

As I sit on this couch, in this air conditioned room, in this spacious house, on a paved road, in a popular city, in a free country, I wonder.

I wonder about those who don’t have what I have. Sometimes, I complain to get things, and mind you, they are usually not essential. I complain for ice cream or for a tablet or for a phone. Other people complain for water, morsels to eat, and basic clothes. These people would think I live the life of luxury, while I think people like Bill Gates do. I sometimes feel poor when I see some of my friends’ houses or their cars. But reality is, I am rich. The ability to live in a house or to be able to practice my faith freely makes me richer than many.

We tend to not look at life like that. In ways that twist our point of view. We often see ourselves as the victims, but in reality, we have it easy. We don’t wake up with the fear of wondering if we will be kidnapped or killed. We don’t sleep with the fear of wondering if we will wake up. We don’t say our goodbyes to our family every night like it’s our last. We don’t fast everyday because it’s easier to do than eat meals. We don’t “diet” with the fear that losing weight can cause deaths. We don’t cry until our bodies lack water. We don’t get sick with the fear of knowing there are no cures. We don’t fear losing family members by the day. And we don’t live with the fear of exposing ourselves since we have no clothes.

They have all these hardships and yet they thrive. They should be our inspiration. They live in constant fear and still go day by day. There are no counselors or therapists, just families comforting one another. Praying it’ll be okay. You know what, one day, it really will. When? No one knows. Until then, all we can do is give our undying support. ¬†Stand by them in their time of need and pray that they receive what they need. If we consider ourselves just, then we need to¬†show this¬†justice.

To be honest, these people inspire me. They may think I am rich, but truly, they are the ones who are. They have wisdom and rely on God to do what’s right. They don’t let the fears of the world stop them, a practice we should all adopt.

 

Inner Struggles

We’re all battling something, struggling with something, something inside that stops us from being who we are. It stops us from living how we want and from breathing a sigh of relief once in a while. It builds a wall around us and we can’t help but feel suffocated, feel as though we’re being closed in. This wall may be the most brittle, but the isolation it has brought us makes us weaker than we’d like to believe.

This battle can be influenced by our own faults, actions of others, and society’s expectations of others. Everyone has a different battle, a different way of handling it, and different way of responding to it. I’ve had my fair share of struggles, and I try my hardest to suppress them. I sometimes put on a smile when I’m made fun of, but inside, I feel hurt. To be honest, a lot of it has to do with the way I look. I often wonder if people around me are embarrassed with the way I look. They think I don’t notice when they avoid taking pictures with me or make excuses. They don’t think I don’t notice that they accidentally forget to post the pictures I’m in. But I do notice, and it stings.

My appearance has been a struggle for me longer than I can remember.  Everyone believes I am confident- I mean to an extent I am- but the truth is my body image is holding it back. I mean I know some people can embrace it and all the power to them, but not me.

At the end of the day, its all about my priorities. Will I make this struggle show or keep it inside, not even embracing it for myself? It’s me against myself. All it takes is will, determination, and support for me, my happiness, and my health.

Has there been anything bothering you? If so, take a piece of paper write your problems on it and rip the paper. Not only does it let you vent, it let’s you release anger.

Oppression

Oh how many times I’ve heard this word used to describe women like me. You see, I’m a Muslim woman and if I had a dime for every time I heard “All Muslim women are oppressed”, I’d be rich. There’s a problem with that though, it’s not true. I’m a Muslim women, and I’m not oppressed.
Don’t get me wrong, I know where the idea stems from. Many people think since we have to cover up, we are oppressed in expressing ourselves. Let me tell you something, all the Muslim women I know, cover what and as much as they want to based on what they want. Some wear the¬†hijab (headscarf) and some don’t. Some wear an abayah¬†(long dress) and some where pants. It doesn’t really matter. We’re just like everyone else. We make our own rules.
Especially in the Western countries, Muslim women run their lives as they wish. Other places, I wish the same could be said. There are cultural minorities everywhere that enforce very conservative views of covering the face or having their women not work. (That’s a rant waiting to come out.)
I would advise anyone reading to take things with a grain of salt. I’m not the mainstream example of a Muslim women, and so I want to educate you all of what it should be. Just because I cover doesn’t mean someone forced me. ¬†Muslim women as a whole group aren’t all oppressed. ¬†Don’t believe what you’ve heard until you meet a Muslim women.Trust me, they’re pretty cool. *hair flip*..or *hijab flip* ūüėČ (If you think I’m implying that I’m cool, then you’re right, because I am)
-Sincerely my deep soul