Inner Struggles

We’re all battling something, struggling with something, something inside that stops us from being who we are. It stops us from living how we want and from breathing a sigh of relief once in a while. It builds a wall around us and we can’t help but feel suffocated, feel as though we’re being closed in. This wall may be the most brittle, but the isolation it has brought us makes us weaker than we’d like to believe.

This battle can be influenced by our own faults, actions of others, and society’s expectations of others. Everyone has a different battle, a different way of handling it, and different way of responding to it. I’ve had my fair share of struggles, and I try my hardest to suppress them. I sometimes put on a smile when I’m made fun of, but inside, I feel hurt. To be honest, a lot of it has to do with the way I look. I often wonder if people around me are embarrassed with the way I look. They think I don’t notice when they avoid taking pictures with me or make excuses. They don’t think I don’t notice that they accidentally forget to post the pictures I’m in. But I do notice, and it stings.

My appearance has been a struggle for me longer than I can remember.  Everyone believes I am confident- I mean to an extent I am- but the truth is my body image is holding it back. I mean I know some people can embrace it and all the power to them, but not me.

At the end of the day, its all about my priorities. Will I make this struggle show or keep it inside, not even embracing it for myself? It’s me against myself. All it takes is will, determination, and support for me, my happiness, and my health.

Has there been anything bothering you? If so, take a piece of paper write your problems on it and rip the paper. Not only does it let you vent, it let’s you release anger.

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4 thoughts on “Inner Struggles

  1. Mubeena says:

    Ohh dear, It’s not a problem to be a fatter but the problem is in humans’ mind. Don’t ever feel down in the dumps, be confident what you possess “the art of writing” they don’t. So, please don’t compare yourself with anyone else be the “example of your own”. I would love to be the part of our blog and read good pieces of writing. Be thanks to God because you are perfect by all part of the body rather then feel down. Come on smile now chill 🙂

    Like

  2. ShahShankedRedemption says:

    Hey Salma, I don’t think making your struggles show should be a priority or lack there of. There’s nothing wrong with letting people know you’re struggling with something. Unfortunately, our shame-based culture doesn’t allow us to show any weakness or struggles because that’s considered shameful. I come from the shame-based culture you come from. I spent much of my life struggling with the fact that I wasn’t as smart as many people I grew up with, the doctors, the engineers and the lawyers…you know what I’m talking about. However, I found out that once I came clean accepting that I really had other gifts that made me who I am, and let people around me know what my struggles were, I both found peace (Salma) and the respect of those around me. And maybe even more important result was giving the freedom to so many around me to confess their weakness/struggles and not be ashamed of it. Your gift is what your name is, the mother figure (the mature and confident one) who will bring peace to those around her. By your permission, I would like to wish you a very joyful and peace-field Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ummesalmah says:

    Of course, I personally love Christmas and the joy it brings. It means a lot for someone to take the time and say such uplifting words. I agree completely and this shame-based culture is really a form of oppression we have had to learn to live with because of how we were raised. I’m definitely on a path to accepting myself for who I am and your words will stand as an inspiration and piece of advise forever. Thank you, because I really needed this and it made my day.

    Like

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