As 2014 comes to a close, I can’t help but think of all the lost goals, lost hopes, lost moments that could have been. If I had just acted differently, different things would have happened. The path I decided to take has determined where I am now. January seems like so long ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I don’t remember what I was doing in the first few days of the year, but I do remember who I was then and who I had become.
I was lonely & ungrateful. I forgot about how lucky I was to have a loving family, great friends, an education, & health. I fell into the endless spiral of anger and began to drown myself in it. I moved away from my loved ones and I just watched them forget me. I watched as my presence wasn’t missed.
However, I forgot something. It wasn’t that they weren’t stopping for me. Time wasn’t stopping for me. The time passed and I became stubborn. I thought I was proving something to them. But I wasn’t. The only thing I proved was to myself. I proved that I was (for some odd reason) letting myself down on purpose. When it hit me, I realized how naive I was being. I couldn’t blame others for not acknowledging me when I made it clear I didn’t want to be.
As I apologized to myself, to others, I saw myself become happier. I became even closer to my loved ones and content with who I was, how I was. It only took me all of 2014 to realize that time doesn’t stop for anyone, so I can’t wait to see what 2015 teaches me.